


Better left alone

by softyjseo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Unrequited Love, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 01:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16440617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyjseo/pseuds/softyjseo
Summary: It was too late.





	Better left alone

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry

Donghyuck should have seen it coming.

He should’ve seen the flowers coming from miles away, but he was still shocked to find one on the top of his tongue, a few drops of blood spilling out as he spit it out into the toilet bowl. He felt his heart sink in his chest, clutching his shirt as a tear fell from his eye onto the floor, a Dahlia petal screaming back at him.

Mark loved Dahlia’s. He fell in love with them while the band was in Mexico for Kcon, the beautiful flowers growing outside their hotel room on the balcony and down on the ground. He had gushed about them to Donghyuck, Youngho and anyone willing to listen from that moment on. He even got Taeyong to buy him a bouquet, even though they were only there for four days.

Donghyuck felt tears streaming from his eyes as he stood in the bathroom of their dorm, and he swallowed some of the blood back down. He could hear footsteps coming closer from behind the door, and he recognized them to be Mark’s.

‘’Hey, hyuck? Everything alright?’’ Donghyuck had the urge to scream, the butterflies in his stomach flying around at the worry in Mark’s voice, but instead he flushed the toilet, watching as the Dahlia petal slipped away.

‘’I’m fine.’’ He answered as he opened the door, flashing Mark a smile. Mark smiled back, nodding, and patted Donghyuck’s shoulder before walking into the bathroom and closing the door. Donghyuck wanted to slump against the wall, but he knew the other members would grow worried. So instead, he walked off to his bedroom.

 

The Dahlia’s kept coming, and soon enough Donghyuck couldn’t go one hour without having to run to the bathroom to throw up flower petals. His lungs constantly burned and his breaths were short, and during practice everyone seemed extremely worried as Donghyuck worked as hard as he could, completely wearing himself out.

It was a coping mechanism.

Donghyuck knew he would die, his love for Mark forever unrequited. He knew the Canadian boy didn’t feel anything else for him other than brotherly love, and to Donghyuck that was more than enough.

He feared death, his days now numbered as he lived through the days carefully and in constant agony. He didn’t want to die, but the other option was getting surgery and that meant losing the love he had for Mark cherished within, and to Donghyuck that was worse than dying.

He didn’t want to forget how Mark’s laugh made him feel. He didn’t want to forget what it felt like to have Mark pat his hair and for him to start blushing like crazy. He wanted to remember the heat rushing through his veins whenever Mark looked at him, the urge to kiss him growing each and every day.

Donghyuck feared death, but he accepted it. He accepted it as the petals covered in blood turned into complete flowers drowned in blood. He accepted the worried looks and his paler growing skin. He accepted it at all, the costs of losing the love he carried for Mark too big to lose.

No one knew. Every time Donghyuck rushed to the bathroom he blamed it on something else. He knew his hyungs were getting more worried as the days went by, but he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t want to tell them, because they’d tell Mark and he would feel so extremely guilty, blaming the fact that he could never love Donghyuck the way he needed to stay alive on himself.

Donghyuck couldn’t have that.

‘’Are you staying in, Hyuckie?’’ Youngho stood in the opening of the door, his gaze trained on Donghyuck’s body in his bed. Donghyuck nodded at that, ‘’I don’t feel too well, hyung. I’m sorry.’’ The flowers had grown bigger over the past few days, and Donghyuck knew his end was nearing every single time he rushed to the bathroom.

Youngho nodded and mumbled for him to get better soon. Donghyuck nodded and listened for the others to leave, his body relaxing as he heard the front door close shut.

He wanted to be alone when it happened.

The flowers had grown bigger, and Donghyuck could feel the branches coming up each and every single day as he lived on. It had taken four weeks, but here he was, laying in bed and ready to die. He was ready for the branches to grow too big for his body, was ready for the flowers to grow and the tree to sprout.

He sat up in bed, grabbing the note he had written for Mark and the other members and clutching it in his hand before sitting against the side of the bed. The dreamies flashed through Donghyuck’s mind, and he felt tears well up as another wave of pain hit him. This time, he wailed in pain and sadness as he thought of having to leave his best friends behind. He opened his mouth as another flower came up, spitting it out onto the floor in front of him.

He grimaced as the blood stained the hardwood floors almost immediately, and apologized to Taeyong for making a mess even in his dying moments. His mind wandered to the other members and he allowed himself to think about all of them as blood started seeping from his mouth, a smile taking over his face even as his body felt like it was being torn to pieces.

Mark was the last one. Donghyuck allowed himself to think about his laugh, his smile and the twinkle in his eyes. He allowed himself to think about the way Mark danced, how hard he worked and how his rapping always amazed him. Donghyuck let his tears fall as he felt the branches come up his throat, and he opened his mouth further for them to properly grow.

He felt the branches itch the skin of his arms, legs and stomach, and screamed as they tore through it. Blood gushed from all over his body, the beautiful Dahlia’s almost mocking Donghyuck as his body grew more limp by the second.

Donghyuck closed his eyes, not wanting his members to see them bloodshot, and frowned when he heard footsteps. He was probably imagining things, the members were all gone.

He let himself slip from that moment on, even as the door to the bedroom opened and he was met with a sudden blaze of light. The branches grew further and further, the Dahlia’s in full bloom now that they had been released out of the confines of Donghyuck’s lungs, and he wailed as he realized Mark was standing in the room.

‘’Hyuckie!’’ Donghyuck closed his eyes again and let out a breath, his consciousness fully slipping away the same moment Mark reached him.

It was too late.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on twitter for this one
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/softyjseo) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/softyjseo)


End file.
